There’s something about the theater that speaks to the inner geek within me. It’s the geek that used to write Freddy Kruger and Home Alone fanfiction when I should have been listening to the teacher in school. It’s the part of me that still gets goosebumps when in the presence of an engaging and emotional story.

It’s something about a story, a pure story, that speaks to the parts within us that yearns to be a hero or a villain. In this mortal shit show of a life, a great story can inspire hope, fear, love, anger, or resentment. You know you’re in the presence of a great story when you walk away silent and dazed.

This is how I’d describe the movie version of the musical Wicked, directed by John Chu and brought to life by Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. In the moments after it ended I sat in silence, yearning for more but deeply satisfied by the experience. If you’re a fan of theater (and the Wizard of Oz), it’s definitely worth the price of admission.

I won’t bore you with details about the movie, but I want to set the stage (no pun intended) for the thought process behind this post. The theme I want to explore is origins. The notion that who we are today is a product of the path we took to get here. And in that path are the little nuances and trajectories that shaped us into the people we are right now.

A good origin story can explain why we are happy or why we are miserable. It reminds us that we don’t enter this world broken, bruised, and depressed. It speaks to the part of us that was once young and full of life, hopes, and dreams.

For the purposes of this post, I want to focus on one key element of the origin story. It’s the reason why I brought up the movie/musical Wicked. And in the spirit of sharing, let’s play the soundtrack from the movie version of the moment I’m talking about:

I am talking about your DEFYING GRAVITY moment.

If you haven’t seen the movie or the musical, I’m alluding to the moment that made you into who you are. A clear divisive line in the sand of your life where the person you were is no more, and you fully realize who you are. (BTW take a moment to just bask in the awesomeness of that song.)

You know exactly what I’m talking about. The minute I mentioned it, your mind served up the moment.

For me, it was the moment I became aware of my “gremlins.” Perhaps I’ll make a more in depth post about that later, but for now just understand it was when I realized that there are limiting beliefs about myself that define how I behave in the world. You know the ones:

“I’m a bad person.”

“I’m stupid.”

“I’m alone.”

“I’m ____.’ Fill in the blank with the worst possible shit you can think about yourself. Deeply ingrained limiting ideas you decided about yourself when you were younger that came to create the person you are.

I had this moment when I found the first one. And it reminded me of the ending of The Matrix where Neo calls up the agents and says the following:

“I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid… you’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.”

I felt like Neo too. I felt like a fucking BADASS. I knew in that moment that the old insecure version of me was on the run, and that the new version of me was going to be more charismatic and inspirational. This one moment led to me quitting my job, going back to school, becoming a teacher, and then eventually entering a doctorate program.

So, now that you have a better idea of what I’m talking about, I’m going to ask you again: What is your DEFYING GRAVITY moment?

What if I told you that there are multiple defying gravity moments? Better question: what if I told you that you can have a new defying gravity moment at any time?

Yes, I know that sounds like typical self help bullshit. I promise you I’m not asking you to reach for the stars, find your greatest potential, or telling you how to be the best you that you can possibly be. I’ll save that shit for the experts.

What I’m trying to impress upon you is to search for that *thing* inside of you (that’s what she said). Do you know what I’m talking about? When you strip away the bullshit. When you look inside of yourself to that place that you don’t go very often (if ever), and you become aware of what you really believe about yourself.

There is a core emotional part of you that has come to define you. A still small voice. The goosebumps on your arms when something inspires you. The tears that well up inside of you when something moves you. The deepness of the breath that calms you. Or the intense fury of the anger that spews out of you.

These are all connected to your defying gravity moments.

Yes, I get it. Not all defying gravity moments are positive. Not all of us were fortunate enough to have positive or inspiring childhoods or lives. I’m aware that many of you reading this have been through shit that I can’t even fathom.

But I do know this much: we all have defying gravity moments. Whether your moment led you to be hero or villain doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you are here now, and you’re carrying that moment inside of you deep beneath the layers of who you are.

Okay, so this is the part of the blog post where you are looking at your computer and the words “but I could never” start creeping up. Doubt. Deflection. Dismissal. Ol’ Doc Fiction is off his rocker and smoking some really powerful crack. (For the record I don’t’ do drugs…just say no, kids.)

But while we are here, don’t you want to go deeper? Aren’t you tired of waking up and living the same day over and over again?

I know I sure am. About a week ago I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained 15 pounds again. Perhaps the same 15 pounds that I’ve gained and lost like a thousand times. And when I did, I told myself it was time to stop being a schlub, stop being an alcoholic, and start eating better.

So how do you go from being the alcoholic schlub standing on the scale in disgust to the ripped, active badass you know you were meant to be? Let’s end this post with a list of things that have worked for me.

1. Make a decision. Today. Nothing happens without throwing down the gauntlet. Nothing happens until you raise your fist defiantly in the sky and scream “I’m not going to do this anymore!” No, seriously, do it with emotion. Don’t sit there timidly and say, “Well I guess I’m going to try to lose weight/start exercising/go back to school/whatever.” I’m asking you to defy gravity here. You gotta get fightin’ mad about it if you want to enact real change.
2. Set a goal. I’m not talking about baby backed, wimpy, emotionless goals. I’m not talking about self helpy “rah rah sis boom bah” horseshit. I’m talking about real, actionable, life altering goals. Don’t set the goal to “lost 10 pounds.” Blech. I just threw up a little in my mouth at that one. Nobody is inspired by that. Why don’t you try: “I’m going to get my fat ass off this couch, go out and join a gym, and go buy some healthy food because I want to climb mountains and swim rivers like a Viking.” As ridiculous as that sounds, doesn’t that move you more than the other one?
3. Learn everything you can about how to achieve the goals you set. It’s not enough to set the goal. You have to be hungry for it. For everything you want to do, I guarantee you there’s someone else who has done it before you. Go find audiobooks, podcasts, YouTube videos, and blogs of people doing the things you want to do and go learn from them.
4. Get to work. I know that sounds simple and trite, but it’s the only way things are going to change. There are no shortcuts. It’s not going to be easy. Sometimes you have to muscle your way through it. But I’ll say this: half the battle is just beginning. Once you start, you’ll find that overcoming the momentum of inaction was the hardest part.

I know those things aren’t overly insightful or new ideas. They are things you can find in every self help blog or book on the planet. Because the truth is, what we need to do to change our lives is the same for all of us. It really does come down to getting off the couch and working hard until you get what you want. There’s no new or flowery way to put that.

But perhaps what I’m asking you to do is to reach deep within yourself and call forth the inspiration and motivation to actually DO those things. All I can do is show you the door. You have to walk through it and all that jazz. And in the end, I really want to ask you one more question:

Isn’t it time you tried defying gravity?